Katie Kubitz
a place for life and letters


a penpal's point of view



Dear Friend,

There are 103 days left until the big day! Crazy!

To say that wedding planning has been a roller coaster is to say that my stomach has dropped more than once (like when the rental company told me they were closing up shop), but overall it has been a complete thrill. It's been a learning process and one that I don't think I'll be ready to give up when it's all over.

That being said there are a few tips that have helped thus far and that I'm planning on leveraging these next 103 days as we tie up loose ends.

  1. Ask questions. Ask questions of everyone around you - your friends who are married, your parents, your grandparents, vendors - ask them all questions. The questions obviously need to be relevant, but questions help narrow down your scope. It will be easier to make decisions if you know what your firm budget is, what your total guest list is, what has worked in the past, what hasn't worked in the past, who should be involved at various key points, etc. Getting information like this can help you build the best team to carry out your vision and also help avoid mistakes that have already been made.
  2. Be true to yourself. If you know that you have stage fright but your parents have a guest list that could fill a football stadium, be up front about who you are and how you picture this day going. Maybe you send out announcements to the entire world but the ceremony and reception guest lists are kept to family. There is always a balance.
  3. Be direct with vendors. As a vendor myself (calligrapher at your service), it is easiest to work with clients who are straight shooters. It is any vendor's job to work with you to bring your vision to life. However, if you give wishy washy answers that vision tends to get muddied and can be difficult to execute. So, when in doubt, be blunt but tactful.
  4. Be flexible. While you can be direct and straightforward about your dream, it is also in everyone's best interest if you maintain flexibility. This will allow for your more creative vendors to propose ideas you maybe haven't thought of, and it will also account for some of the realities that will inevitably settle in. If your heart is set on ball gowns for your bridesmaids, but you aren't in a place to foot the bill, you might need to take other options into consideration. This might be a perfect time to let your bridesmaids choose their own dresses within your prescribed color family. Again, balance is key.
  5. Be present. This has been the absolute hardest part for me. I am so excited for the wedding and the honeymoon and being married and changing my name and on and on that I forget that right now I'm engaged. Being engaged is fun too! I constantly try to reign myself in, pause all of the anticipation, and focus on how happy I currently am. Being present is the biggest part of the whole process and it is the one thing that will make for the best memories.

How did planning your wedding go? Any pearls of wisdom to pass along?

xx Katie