Balance baffles me. I personally can't seem to maintain balance in my life for very long. It's not that things are ever horribly unbalanced, but I'm definitely always working to get things a little more in balance. I truly cannot figure out if balance is something you can have or if it's just something to work towards. And of course, the more I think about things and try to figure them out, I just keep finding new questions. Questions like:
- Am I balanced or bored?
- Am I growing or struggling?
- Am I satisfied or settling?
- Is this challenging me or overwhelming me?
- Is it possible to be both content and ambitious?
The hardest part for me is that depending on who you talk to, all of these questions have different answers. As someone who has spent forever searching for "the right answers," these kinds of open-ended questions are a lot to take in. And even though I have been learning to take ownership of my perspective and to confidently assert my point of view, I am still getting used to this much freedom.
This kind of freedom comes with a lot of responsibility, and if I'm being totally honest this much responsibility scares me. It's frightening to know that I'm responsible for finding balance in my life. I'm responsible for my own success, for my own happiness, for my own most things. It should be comforting to know that there is no wrong answer, but the logical side of me is confused because there is no right answer.
In the past I've taken "no right answer" to mean that there is no answer at all. I've let "not knowing" paralyze me and keep me from curiosity. My fear has stunted my sense of adventure, but I’m determined to turn a new page. I am decidedly pursuing creativity to help infuse my life with balance.
I am strongly of the belief that creativity can be cultivated. I have high hopes that if I make creativity a routine now, it will grow into a lifestyle over time. I'll wonder at details I once overlooked. I'll begin to look for innovative solutions instead of hopelessly searching for the right answer. I will of course continue to question things, but I will be closer to feeling grounded. I will allow my definition of "balance" to mature as I do.
If you have any input on how you find balance, let me know!
Until next time,